clusters of wonder + finding joy
I’ve had quite a few conversations lately about joy.
Notably: how it feels absent for lots of people.
Maybe it’s the macro noise, maybe getting older, maybe the aftershocks of covid or the desensitisation and comparison that comes from being endlessly bombarded with information. The most honest answer is that it’s probably all of that chipping away at our nervous system capacity to be with pleasure, goodness and wonder.
I feel like leaning into joy is an active practice - especially the older I get and the more responsibilities you take on.
And it is a practice that is so vital, so crucial and essential to being alive.
I remember the year after I lost my job really searching for it, searching for what made me feel good after years of burn out and stress. It was a rather slow process for me with lots of experimentation and dead-ends.
Now though, is a different story. It is still a cultivated practice for me, but I’m much clearer on where and how I experience joy.
Most recently: I’ve been to two concerts in the last week. The same band.
I started getting into BTS in 2020, the global kpop group and have a group of friends where we coordinated our efforts to get tickets. So I was lucky enough to go to two nights. It’s quite an adrenaline rush!
When I was describing my experience about it to a friend she asked me “what do you think the medicine is for you from these concerts?” and my first thought was “fun” because they are undeniably fun for me: dancing, singing, laughing. The fun is really important. And, then, hot on its heels was belonging.
And I realised that this was an important part of the piece of accessing the fun.
The stadium is filled with fans, sharing freebies, dressed up and singing along to all the songs. We’re all there for the same reason, to share in the joy of seeing this band, to dance our hearts out, to sing loudly and scream even more loudly. There is just something viscerally good about being with that many people who are in sync in some way.
It isn’t that I’m totally relaxed - it’s that there is enough safety in the experience for me that I feel like I don’t have to be on full alert. I know I can focus on what feels good, what feels fun and be swept up in the moment of it.
Other things that spark wonder for me:
Travel (always), the fact that I can see different places and fly through the air or speed through the landscape is always incredible to me.
A good story - I’ve been reading more lately in an effort to bring back my concentration levels and I adore the feeling of sinking into a good world, a good story that is captivating me and carrying me along with it. Most recently I read The Incandescent by Emily Tesh. It’s about a headmistress as the Direct of Magic at a boarding school and all the responsibilities that come with that. A really interesting different take on magical school stories.
Laughter - big, belly make your cheeks ache and tears spring in your eyes kind of laughter. I mean all of it is good: the quiet chuckles, the suppressed snorts, the surprised bubble of a giggle. Anything that makes you laugh is gold-dust.
Have you found joy harder to hold onto lately or as you get older? Or easier? Have you found ways to nurture it and find it? I’d be curious to know.